From the Rectory

My item for the May Parish magazine:

With the recent Royal Wedding, some of us will have had marriage in mind. And I’ve also found myself having the privilege of preparing a number of couples for marriage at Bodle Street or Warbleton. I thought I’d let you into the study so that you can overhear some of the conversation. I hope this might be of interest to those of us who are not married too: we all have opportunities to support (or, God-forbid, to undermine) the marriages around us. Marriage is vital to us all as the basic building block of families, communities and society at large. I think it’s hard to over-estimate the importance of good marriages for our well-being as individuals, for our children or for our local and national life together.

Of course, none of us has the perfect marriage. Commitment is the key. We may be more or less compatible as couples, but we all need to invest time and effort in our marriages. Even the best marriages can get better. Knowing that marriage is “till death us do part” really gives us an incentive to work hard at it: we’re stuck with one another for better or for worse!

I’m giving away one of my favourite wedding sermons here, but here are three things we should say frequently to one another in marriage, that we may also want to consider saying to the Lord Jesus:

(1) Sorry

To our partner: We all fail in so many ways and yet “sorry” can often be the hardest word to say. It dents our pride but it mends our friendship – and that companionship and partnership is at the heart of marriage.

To Jesus: We’ve often ignored and slighted the God who made us and loved us too, in what we do and say and think and in the good things we fail to do.

(2) Thank you

To our partner: It’s so easy to take one another for granted. A little appreciation can go a long way. Spontaneous bunches of flowers may go down well too, fellas!

To Jesus: We owe everything to him. Not least, he died on the cross that we might be forgiven and that our relationships might be restored.

(3) Please

To our partner: We’re a team as husband and wife and we need one another’s help and understanding. Good communication is essential and that can involve expressing how we hope things might work for us together.

To Jesus: We need Jesus’ help not only in our marriages but in all of life to enjoy the freedom of living out of the overflow of knowing that we’re loved by him.

May God bless us and our marriages and may that blessing overflow to our wider families and communities.