Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Christmas cracker jokes

Where does Santa go to dance?

What's a snowman's favourite food?

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman?

What do you get if you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon Hood

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So that he can Ho, Ho, Ho!

Which of Santa's reindeer needs to mind his manners most?

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

Why do Santa's little helpers get depressed?
Because they have low elf esteem

What is a mum's favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe

Why doesn't Santa allow his helpers to ride on his sleigh?
Elfin safety

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep and crisp and even (or Deep pan crisp and even)

Why doesn't Santa link to get stuck in the chimney?
Because he suffers from Claus-trophobia

How does Jack Frost get to work?
By icicles

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To show he wasn't chicken

What's furry and minty?
A Polo bear

What do ghosts eat?

What does an angry kangaroo do?
Get hopping mad

 What do you get if you cross a fish and two elephants?
Swimming trunks

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one

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