… sexual activity is often out of place – when, for instance, it is directed by such motives as the quest for kicks, or for relief from mental or physical tension, or loneliness or boredom, or the desire to control of humiliate, or mere animal reaction to someone’s sex appeal. Such motives cheapen sex, making it (despite the short-term excitement) trivial and ugly, and leaving behind, once the thrill is over, more disgust than delight. (p84)
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In casual sex a man does not strictly love a woman, but uses and so abuses her (however willing she may be). Nor can solitary masturbation fulfill God’s ideal; sex is for relationship, not ego trips.
Keeping the 10 Commandments (Crossway, 2007) - previously Growing in ChristI Want To Be A Christian, p85 (1994), originally, I Want to Be A Christian
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Ugly Sex
Rev'd Prof J. I. Packer says:
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6 comments:
Paul, to the Corinthians: "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
Although what Packer says has a lot of truth in it, I'm not sure that sex is automatically bad if relief from physical tension is a motive/or reaction to sex appeal. So long as these things are within marriage, they seem to fit a purpose of marriage that Paul gave to the Corinthians.
I haven't read the context in which Packer says that, and unless these things are accompanied by thought, gentleness and kindness to the spouse it certainly gets ugly.
Yes, I guess I tended to add in something like "only" in my mind when reading it.
For many teenagers, masturbation is a hugely taboo subject - its probably a fact that many do it but many wouldn't admit to doing it - especially if that conversation was in any way linked to a church situation.
A lot of people would say its about exploring your body in a safe and natural way
Yes, I can see all that.
I can see how someone might argue for a kind of neutral solo-masturbation, but I would have thought that in practice it almost always includes committing adultery or fornication in one's heart (see Mt 5:28).
Certainly I would see pornography as falling under the ban of Mt 5:28.
In marriage, I would have thought that solo-masturbation falls short of the ideal of sex as mutual self-giving.
I've not followed the discussion in detail but see:
http://christthetruth.wordpress.com/2009/06/22/all-in-the-mind/
A great link, think my head is kinda small to deal with all the long theological words.
Its a major issue for many people and I know guys who have a real self-loathing over it.
The only cure? Tie your hands behind your back, or get hitched
And of course remember the rich rich mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ for all those who will put their trust in him.
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