A Vicar Writes To His Parishioners

From The Rectory

It is with some trepidation that I pen this letter to parishioners. On 4^th December, The Daily Telegraph reported that The Revd Andy Thewlis had written a strongly worded letter to the members of his church. He told them off amongst other things for arrogance, gossip, disunity, lack of warmth and welcome and for being unco-operative. He thought their worship and church-life had suffered and he said he wasn’t willing to sacrifice his health and his family’s well-being by putting up with it all. The hapless cleric has since had an urgent meeting with his Bishop, has written a letter of apology, is taking a sabbatical and looking for another job! Much as I enjoyed my recent sabbatical, I hope this parish magazine item wont lead to the Bishop telling me to clear off for another three months!

Now, of course, we don’t know the ins and outs of The Revd Mr Thewlis’ situation. We haven’t even seen the full text of the letter. No doubt there are rights and wrongs on both sides. And the Vicar has obviously conceded, albeit perhaps under a degree of pressure, that there were things for which he ought to apologise. But I’d like to bet many members of the clergy will have been tempted to give their congregations a few aptly worded home truths. And I know for certain that many ministers have been blessed with communications from parishioners telling them how to sort out their lives, or families, or their gardens even (“The state of your lawn brings the gospel into disrepute, Vicar!”), and how to do their job rather better. Some clergy even say they receive what they can only call hate-mail. There is a lot to be said for restraint before hitting “Send” or especially “Reply All” on both “sides”.

My purpose here is not to whine about the lot of a Vicar. Obviously a doubling of stipend would be welcome. The role certainly has its challenges but it also has many blessings. The complaints of some clergy can sound like first world problems. In many ways there are lots of harder jobs and many would say that being a vicar is the best job in the world – a huge privilege at least. There might be emotional and spiritual demands to clerical life, but I regularly give thanks for my twenty-second commute, as well as for more exalted spiritual aspects of the vocation!

But maybe I might presume to make two points both for clergy and people.

The first is about criticism and encouragement. It can be easy to find fault. And often this will be legitimate. Sometimes it might even be helpful. But we ought to remember the words of someone rather important about specks and logs. We hear helpful suggestions much better in a context of respect and appreciation. We ought to say “thank you!” often. When I worked for the Christian Union movement we had a mantra of “encourage the good wherever you find it”. I used to quip that sometimes I was reduced to saying to students, “Oh, I like your shirt”, but it is a good principle.  

The second is about allowing God to criticise us. Although the Apostle Paul sometimes did so, it is probably unwise for Vicars to write to all their parishioners naming names of the most unhelpful people in their living. As I’ve said, criticism can very easily be overdone. And of course we should not equate the Vicar’s voice with the voice of God. But is anyone able to challenge or correct us? Do we admit that we are sinners who actually sin and who have real stuff we ought to repent of? When was the last time you said sorry to anyone? God’s Word the Bible is given in part for correcting, rebuking and training in righteousness. We should pray for the Spirit’s work to actually show us our moral faults and to transform us. Church life can be too cosy and comfortable for some and there is wisdom in the old adage that the preacher should comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Well, I hope this letter was helpful. I heard recently of a Vicar who used to post any critical correspondence he received on the church notice board. It is perhaps a 20^th century version of re-tweeting and so exposing abusive messages. I probably won’t be doing that, but we should always remember that things spoken in a corner will be proclaimed from the rooftops and that there is one to whom we will give an account for every careless word.

The Revd Marc Lloyd