Friday, March 13, 2009

Wedding sermon gags

D.v. I'm going to marry my (non-Christian) sister in the Summer.

Any tips on the sermon gratefully recieved!

We've pencilled in 1 Corinthians 13, 1 John 4:7-12 and John 15:9-12 as the readings.

Got any good gags? - though I am conscious that it should be more sermon than best-man or father of the bride-ish!

If you're going to be there, look away now to avoid spoilers!

I thought I might say something about love in marriage and the love of God for us shown in Jesus' penal death for us.

Here are a couple of gags I remember hearing in wedding sermons:

A woman, who wasn't in the habit of giving her husband complements, once told him that he was a "model husband". He was so flattered that he looked up "model" in the dictionary where he read: "a model: a small fake imitation of the real thing".

(Could lead into Eph 5 - Christ as the model husband).

* * *

A young Christian was struggling in his marriage and, in need of advice, he asked an older, wiser Christian if he'd ever contemplated divorce. The older man looked him in the eye and replied: "Divorce? Never. Murder, many times."

9 comments:

Gerv said...

Any way you can avoid 1 Cor 13? a) it's cliched at weddings, and b) it's never preached with the rebuking tone with which Paul meant it. Why not Eph 5, Rev 20 or something like that? Take the opportunity to teach your sister and the congregation what marriage really means.

Also, not wanting to have a sense of humour failure, but why crack jokes about how marriages are always stereotypically bad? Particularly if your sister is a non-Christian - why reinforce the belief that marriage is a convenient arrangement to be abandoned when things get tough?

I went on a church weekend away for a church which was not my own, where the guy leading opened up with a joke about how the devil appeared in a church, and everyone fled, apart from one guy. "I have the power to throw you into hell for eternity - why aren't you scared?", asks the devil. "I've been married to your sister for 40 years", replies the man.

As a way of giving a wrong view of the devil, his power, spiritual warfare, hell and marriage all in one short joke, it could hardly have been beaten. A bit of me died inside as he gave the punchline.

Marc Lloyd said...

Thanks, Gerv.

I can see your point about bad jokes entirely and I agree one wants something serious in the sermon and not a stand up routine.

I'm happy to use 1 Cor 13 as an insight into true love which is transferable to marriage in some ways even though the context is use of spiritual gifts in the church.

My mother and sister quite liked 1 Cor 13 and it is better than many a pagan poem!

I was planning to use 1 Cor 13 to say what a tall order authentic love is and how often we will all fall short of it. We'll need the forgiveness of our husband and wife and much more of God himself.

I think Eph 5 might be a bit hard for the pagan audience to take when they will not even admit the existence of God!

I was thinking of emphasising marriage as life long commitment including "for worse" not just "convenient arrangement" for the moment, as long as it works for us. I think there is something very powerful about unconditional commitment and love that is not based on merit or performance which leads to thinking about God's undeserved love for us too.

Anonymous said...

You could go for the old Ecclesiastes 4:12 as your starting text and image for a marriage that includes God and thing spring into 1 John 4 stuff?

Talking about true meaning of love you could include some children's views....

"If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
Glenn, age 7


"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
Will, age 7

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife"
Bert, age 5

"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
John, age 9

"I'm in favour of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'Dinosaurs' is on television."
Jill, age 6

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding Year 5 hard enough."
Regina, age 10

Hope all is well in Eastbourne!

Marc Lloyd said...

Thanks, Hutch.

Yep, all is well on the Sunshine Coast!

Sam Allberry said...

"Well this is a very emotional day for us. Even the cake's in tiers..."

[Pause for uproarious laughter]

Tim V-B said...

This one came up in our Lent Course yesterday (don't ask how!). We were talking about how people search for Mr or Miss Right, and someone said:

My husband and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago and he gave me a sign to go on the wall:
"40 Years ago I married Miss Right. But at the time I didn't know her first name was 'Always'"

Marc Lloyd said...

And of course there's the old gag about the Vicar telling the bride to walk down the aisle to the altar where they'd sing a hymn. She walked in muttering over and over again: "AISLE, ALTAR, HYMN"!

Marc Lloyd said...

Just read this one on Facebook:

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need are 2 hearts and a diamond. By the end you'll wish you had a club and a spade!

Marc Lloyd said...

If love is blind, marriage is certainly an eye-opener.

* * *

Mr & Mrs N! Congratulations! You're now sitting next to the person statistically most likely to murder you!