Desire

From The Rectory

What do you desire for 2019?

This parish magazine item is all about desire. But don’t worry: it’s not as pacey as it might sound!

The Church of England is very keen on what it calls Spiritual Directors or Soul Friends for the clergy. It is a kind of cheap therapy: a chap you go and talk to about your walk with the Lord and anything else that is bugging you. You can safely sound off about the parishioners, for example, theoretically!

Anyway, my “Spiritual Director” has asked me to reflect on “What do you really want?” And it occurs to me that it is not a simple business. Sometimes we do not really know ourselves. We can surprise ourselves or be mysterious even to ourselves. Your reactions, or thoughts, or things you say might reveal desires you didn’t really know you had. Or which you didn’t want to admit, even to yourself. Or which you did not realise were so strong, or so unmet or….  

In this New Year season, you might like to give yourself a spiritual health check, a mini MOT of the soul. And I think this question, “What do you desire?” would not be a bad one to ponder.

Perhaps I could make three general points about desire:

(1) Desires are good

Christians have sometimes been worried by desires, especially the more bodily desires, like the drive for food or sex. Eastern religions tend to seek detachment both from suffering and desire. But according to the Bible God made us good with good desires.

(2) Desires are disordered

Yet we all know that we and our world are far from perfect. Sometimes we desire the wrong things. Often we desire good things too much, or for the wrong reasons, or by the wrong means. It is not that we need to be free from all desire. Rather, we need our desires re-ordered. When we make things our ultimate desire, they become our god, a false god, an idol.

(3) All desires are designed ultimately to terminate in the love of God

If you are a regular at church you are probably bored of hearing me quote St Augustine of Hippo. He wrote in his spiritual autobiography, The Confessions: “O Lord, you have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.” Whether we realise it or not, God is our highest desire. We were made to love him and be loved by him. All legitimate desires flourish only in relation to God who is the source and goal of all things. Jesus told us to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. If we do, we will find that is what we really want.

So what?

Once you’ve worked out what you want, I’m not sure what the next step is. Or quite how our desires are to be reordered, except by the miraculous intervention of the grace of God. Maybe my next session with therapy man will reveal the answer, and I can report back in these pages. I reckon there will be some things of which to repent. And some things to seek, under God, as far as circumstances and other duties allow. That, I think, would give you enough to be working on, and perhaps the Holy Spirit would do the rest as your read your Bible, pray and attend church – if that’s what you want.

Enjoy your 2019! But mind what you seek. Above all, pray that you might enjoy God by glorifying him. Perhaps in 2020 we might be able to say that our desires are somewhat different and are somewhat more fulfilled, even as we groan for their full flowering in the New Creation.

The Revd Marc Lloyd